The Wacky
by ruabuffy-da
Summary: Buffy, Willow and Dawn all need body guards Angel, Tara and Spike get hired. Sillyfic B/A W/T


Title: use your won imaganation. Authors: RuaBuffy and D.A Summary: AU, no Humans, no Buffy or Angel (JUST KIDDING :p) No vamps no demons just people. Buffy, Willow and Dawn are the daughters of sum rich dude they bodyguards, Angel is Buffy's. SILLYFIC Rating: what do u think? Prob M (now it is any fuckin' way) Disclaimer: do u think that we are in ANYWAY smart or sain enough to create/own these weirdos? Mawhahahahahahahahahaha.ha. Authors notes: this is an AU sillyfic so no spoilers. Buffy/Willow are 18 and Dawn is 12 Angel is 20 and who cares bout the rest cuz pfft BUFYS P.O.V Feedback: wanna tell us you liked this fic, go ahead! Wanna tell us how funny this was? Go ahead! Wanna ask for a sequel? Go ahead! Wanna tell us how crap our writing is? Go to hell!!  
  
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We always told Jessy that he would die a horrible ugly death in the middle of the night, who ever thought it would be right. Ok, to explain my name is  
  
Buffy I have blond hair and hazel eyes, and am 5 feet tall, I have a twin sister called Willow she has red hair, and is taller then me (damn her) except we have the same eyes. I also have a little sister called Dawn she's  
  
12 and is also taller then me (damn her), she has long brown hair, but she doesn't have hazel eyes (we think she was adopted). Any way our dad is rich, he owns a huge company with my uncle. We have no idea what he does, just that he's rich. Our uncle has two kids, Xander and Jessy (not anymore because Jessy was murdered horribly in the middle of the night) Xander is our age and so was Jessy, but they wern't twins (we STILL dunno how that happened).  
  
"DAAAAAAAAAAAD!!! WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE BODY GARDS" I yelled. " YEAH, we can look after ourselves" Dawn piped in. " SHUT UP DAWN" someone yelled, no one keeps count anymore. "You need a body guard because your cousin Jesse was gutted in the middle of the night and on the wall written in blood was 'his cousins and possibly Xander are next" Dawn, Willow and I just stared at him blankly. "I just told you five minutes ago!" " oh, ok" Willow said. There was a knock on the door. "That must be them" dad said and went to get the door. When came back he was followed by a tall pale guy with broad shoulders and dark brown hair, a  
  
tall bleached blonde guy and a blond girl. My father took a step forward and motioned to each of the bodyguards "This is Angel, he is the best bodyguard I could get. This is Spike this is  
  
the meanest bodyguard I could get. And this is Tara" Tara looked at him, annoyed. " She's a girl if you haven't noticed." " So" Dawn said "SHUT UP DAWN" Buffy and Willow said at the same time. Dad looked kinda uncomerftabl next to the two buff, strong guys. Really it was kinda funny seeing this little podgy guy next to two strong tall one. " Angel is Buffy's bodyguard, Spike is Dawn's bodyguard and Tara is Willow's bodyguard. Ok, I'll just leave you to get acquainted" he said, then scurried off. The six people looked at each other and just sized them up. Spike was the first to speak "ok, so you're Dawn?" He had just walked up to ME!!! THAT IS SOO UNFAIR, Just because she's taller then me. "No, you buttmunch! I'm Buffy!!". Was it just I or did Angel just get a big smile on his face. "I'm Dawn" Dawn said. "Shut up Dawn" Somewhere in all this mess Willow had made her way over to Tara and the two  
  
were laughing at something. Fine!! Leave me out!! "Okay, how about we show you guys around" Willow said (8uv) and all of us started to walk around the mansion. ........  
  
While we were showing Angel, Spike and Tara around the mansion Oz walked by. 'Who is that guy' spike asked 'Hank didn't tell use about another guy living here"(woohoo, my keyboard is  
  
fixed) "Oh, that's Oz" I told them "he's been living here for six months, Dad still hasn't noticed" "yeh, Oz is really coo-" "SHUT UP DAWN" most everyone yelled (it was a habit)  
  
After we had shown Angel, Spike and Tara around the mansion Dad came and told us that our cousin Xander was coming over to visit. A few minutes later Xander, Xander's dad and two other guys walked. "I guys, these are my body guards, Gunn and Doyle" Xander said "Hey, how come Xander gets two bodyguards?" Willow asked "I can answer that," Gunn said, stepping forward "you see, when Doyle is drunk I look after Xander, and when I'm with my gang Doyle looks after Xander" Xander's dad cleared his throat to get our attention "Actually Doyle was meant to be Jesse's bodyguard, but we all know how that  
  
turned out".  
  
Everyone was introduced, I won't bore you with the details. After Xander, and his dad, and his bodyguards went home I was left alone with Angel (the rest of the family was of somewhere) Finally I asked Angel what I had been wondering since I met him. "Hey Angel, you want to make out?" "OK"  
  
The next day we found out that Spike had been kidnapped during the night. Talk about role reversal. We gathered in Spikes room to look for clues. Dawn was hanging around outside the door. "Hay can I come in and help look for clues?" " NO, shut up Dawn." ***************************This part is not in Buffy's P.O.V******************  
  
Dawn looked around the hall. Suddenly she was grabbed from behind, she tried to scream but they put a hand over her mouth. The two guys dragged her outside. IT WAS THE KIDDNAPERS (in case you didn't know already) Dawn bit the hand in front of her mouth so she could yell "Help! Help! Hey, let me go, let me go" "Shut up Dawn" one of them yelled. At that moment something inside Dawn snapped. "THAT IS IT!!!!! I AM SO SICK OF EVERYONE TELLING ME TO SHUT UP!!!!!!!" She elbowed the guy holding her in the ribs, then punched him in the face and basically beat the living fu.crap out of the two kidnappers. Excitedly Dawn ran inside and up to Spikes room "Hey everyone, the kidnappers just caught me but I-" "Shut up Dawn!"  
  
******************Now we will continue with Buffy's P.O.V.******************  
  
We didn't find any clues (damn sneaky kidnappers). The next morning Willow,  
  
Tara, Dawn and I found out that during the night Angel had been kidnapped, this discovery was followed by a chorus of  
  
"OH GODDAMNIT!!!!"  
  
(Except for Tara who just blushed at all the swearing) Ok, we were in Angel's room, looking for clues. "Hey, guys check it out, I found a nail!" "er Buffy, what about that note that Willow found?" "We've been here for 3 fucking hours and all we've found is a note and a nail, SO LAY OFF!!!!!" "Has anyone actually read the note?" Dawn asked, we all looked at Willow Willow: "Shut up Dawn!", they looked at me "Hey don't look at me, I was busy looking for the nail" "Ah, guys, why don't we look at it now" Tara suggested Anyway, since we couldn't find any other clues we decided to look at the note. It read " We have Angel, go to hell" Dawn looked at it " EWWW it has blood on it" Wait a minute "That's not blood, ITS LIPSTICK!!" "Why would they leave a note if it wasn't a ransom note?" Dawn asked. "Shut up Dawn!" we chorused. "Guys, why would they leave a note if it wasn't a ransom note?" Willow asked. Tara and I looked at her thoughtfully "That's a good point Willow" Tara sniffed the note " OKAAAAAY and were sniffing for clues now? I mean were not dogs." Tara blushed and took it away from her face " It smells like salt, they must be hiding in one of the abandoned warehouses by the sea"(A.N: CLEACHE?) "Yes, but which warehouse?" Willow asked. I smiled brightly "Pass me that note," I said. "As I suspected, this is Jewelsby brand #67 Red Rose if I'm not mistaken, its an imported brand and there's only one shop in LA that sells it" " Then the warehouse that they're hiding in must be near that shop. LETS GO..wait, where is it?" Tara asked. "It's very close," I told her "you can see the only abandoned warehouse in that area from my room" they all looked at me. Then a bunch of Oks came and  
  
we left.  
  
We all sat in the car, Tara was driving and I sat in the back, we had been on the road for half an hour Tara suddenly said to Willow "Where do we go now?" Willow looked surprised "What? I though YOU knew where we were going"  
  
They both turned to look at me "HAY don't look at me, you guys are the ones  
  
navigating"  
  
An hour later we finally arrived at the warehouse and walked in. in the first room Angel and Spike were tied to chairs in the middle of the room. Dawn and I started to run towards them when Willow and Tara held us back "Wait, it could be a trap" "No it's not" Angel said (apparently he had heard us) "They just kind of left us here. I don't think they though people would find them" "But who would kidnap you?" Tara Asked. Suddenly there was this really weird voice saying " IT WAS ME. DARLA" we all looked up and saw this I'M-NOT-BUT-I-WANT-TO-BE-Blond with bad hair on top of that outfit flanked by 10 guys. The ten guys came towards us, one of them stepped forward "HA, we've kidnapped your body guards, now what are you little girlies going to do" "I'm still here," Tara said stepping forward. "Your just a girl, what are you going to do?' all the guys laughed and pulled out handguns, at which point Tara pulled out the Uzi she had been hiding under her coat. All the guys that had laughed at her now practically pissed themselves and ran off. "COOL, DID YOU SEE THAT? MY BODYGAURD IS SOOO COOL" Willow shouted "So" I asked, " I kiss mine" Willow just shrugged "So do I". "What do you want?" I asked Darla "I wanted to kidnap Angel" Darla cried "that's why I did what I did, once I  
  
killed Jesse I knew your father would be in fear of your lives and hire bodyguards, one of them would be Angel then I could kidnap him" Dawn asked, " then why did you kidnap Spike?" "Because, um...er...uh..you see..hey shut up!" I snorted, " I don't know which is more amazing, your stupid plan or the fact it actually worked" Darla shrugged "Too bad, its time for this girl to fly" she ran to the window and jumped out, this was followed by a splash. It seems she forgot that the warehouse is on the edge of the Warf.and that she could not swim.  
  
We called the cops and they came quickly and arrested Darla who had hung onto one of those poll things that hold up a Warf, they also quickly arrested her ten lackeys as upon escaping the warehouse had become confused  
  
and disoriented and hadn't run more then 10 meters. Darla and the 10 other guys were tired and convicted for murder and other stuff I can't be bothered remembering.  
  
Angel and I moved in together, which pretty much means that he moved into my room, but we didn't get married cos' that is so clichéd. Spike also moved into the house and is now Dawns honorary big brother. Willow and Tara are still together, Oz is still living with us, dad still hasn't found. Also some guy named Riley Finn died in a tractor accident somewhere in Iowa. This has nothing to do with the story but I though I would mention it. 


End file.
